Being a mother is a full-time job on its own. Many of us try to handle maternal duties with our regular jobs, and that can be very stressful, not to mention frustrating. Plus, most of our focus is on making sure that our child is healthy, happy, and with everything he needs. However, it’s just as important to try and prioritise ourselves as well. But how can we do that? There are many things you can do, as you notice below.
Why Do We Feel Guilty As Mothers When We Try To Prioritise Ourselves?
There are multiple reasons behind that. One of them is cultural conditioning since mothers are always seen as tireless nurturers. Plus, it’s that invisible load that leads to a mental burden, which further increases your anxiety levels and stress. Some of us also worry about being judged by other people, which further adds to our guilt. And, of course, there are plenty of mothers who suffer from the mom martyr syndrome since they want to be the best mother they can. However, in doing so, they lower their quality of life, and can feel miserable because of it.
Improve Your Self-Care Routine
One of the first things mothers tend to leave on their back burner is their personal care. Obviously, you want to establish a self-care routine and stick with it. You also need to wake up 15 minutes earlier than normal to meditate, read a journal, and de-stress. Learn how to say no to certain tasks, and don’t be afraid to delegate, even if it’s not what you normally do.
Start Setting Boundaries At Home
You also want your husband and child to know when you want to take some time off. For example, resting for 20-25 minutes after dinner or lunch is a great idea, and it can help you recharge your batteries. Exercising can be a great idea, perhaps going out for a morning walk or run, or a pilates class. Establishing this type of schedule and sticking with it can offer some breathing room while allowing you to de-stress.
Schedule Time For Yourself
You can go the extra mile and focus on scheduling some time off for yourself. For example, you can take a 20-minute walk outside, or every week you go on a date with your partner. Maybe you go to the movies, visit the bookstore; anything that can help you de-stress will be handy.
Don’t Be Afraid To Seek Professional Support
Therapy can be a lifeline for many mothers, especially first-time mothers. It can get overwhelming at times, so having professional guidance can help a lot more than expected. Therapy is a good idea, but you can also enter postpartum support groups or even opt for online therapy if you want more privacy.
Use Positive Self-Talk
Sometimes, parenting can become very overwhelming. It certainly has its low times, so using positive self-talk can help a lot more than expected. You want to use positive quotes and anything that will help boost your morale. Challenges will arise, but you never want to let them put you down. Instead, stay positive, and that mindset will help improve your mental health more than expected.
Also, you need to stop being a perfectionist. The truth is that we all make mistakes, and no one is perfect. Stop striving towards having a spotless house, a child that’s always happy, etc. Instead, stay positive and try to find individual solutions for each issue. You don’t need everything to be perfect.
Try To Reclaim Parts Of Your Old Self
Most mothers try to leave their old identity behind as they focus on motherhood. The best approach is to try and reclaim parts of your old identity. Set time aside for your hobbies, and focus on pursuing the dreams that you once had. All of that will help you regain self-confidence, and it will make it easier to prioritise yourself without having any sense of guilt.
Reconnect With Other Mothers
Mothers who stick together will feel better since they can ease the pressure simply by talking with one another. You don’t need to be competitive; if anything, try to do the opposite. Talk to other mothers, learn from them, and improve your parenting. Plus, connecting with other mothers is a great form of socialisation, which many mothers tend to lack, especially in the early years.
Also, if you choose to prioritise yourself, it can be very helpful for your child as well. After all, kids learn by watching what you do. You want to focus on self-respect and self-worth, and if you do that, your child will do the same. Make sure that you take good care of yourself and set time off, and your child will learn to do the same.
Delegating Is a Good Idea
Most of us feel that we need to be hands-on with everything. But realistically, delegating can free up a lot of time. It will make our lives easier, and it can improve our mental health as well. How can you delegate? For example, you can hire a cleaner once or twice a month. You can also split some parenting duties with your partner. If you have older kids, they could help with lunch prep or laundry. If not, you can ask your parents. Delegating is a smart approach, and it can help avoid a mental breakdown due to an overwhelming amount of duties.
Conclusion
Everyone feels some type of guilt when they try to prioritise themselves instead of their family, and that’s especially true when it comes to mothers. We are so focused on giving it all for our children that we forget how important it is to take great care of ourselves. The best thing we can do is to keep things in balance. Delegating tasks, scheduling time for yourself, setting boundaries, all these things are extremely important.
The more you focus on them, the better it will be. And in the end, you want to remember that you can be a mom first while also keeping time for your personal needs. Use these tips, and you will learn how to prioritise yourself without that innate sense of guilt. And yes, it will help you become the best mother while also feeling good about yourself, by taking time for yourself.
